Helping Your Disabled War Vet Spouse

Yesterday she wrote a blog entry that I think is an important expansion to the thoughts I shared in my last post. She picked up where my expertise leaves off. So to both introduce you to Patty (if you don’t know her already) and also share her thoughts about spouses of disabled war vets, I’m reprinting her post. Here it is:

“…If you’re married to someone learning to go after his or her dreams with a body that can’t do some of the things it could do before, it’s going to throw some new obstacles in the path to your dreams, too. People are going to treat your spouse differently now. And it’s going to affect you. Your spouse must handle many things differently now. It’s going to affect how he or she handles your relationship, too.

Expect love. It won’t — it can’t — come in the same packages as before, but it will be there. Find other ways to get the other forms of help and support you need to follow your dreams.

Assume love. Don’t jump to conclusions about the meaning of a harsh or discouraging word or a change in daily rituals. You’ve both got a lot of adjusting to do, and you’re going to overadjust a few times before you get it right.

Look for third alternatives. Honor the dreams. Respect the efforts. Don’t ever think your first idea or two is all you get to choose from. Build the new rituals, the new furniture layouts, the new traditions, the new chore-sharing arrangements that build the new life and move toward the lifelong dreams that make you both whole no matter what.”

Click HERE to visit Patty’s blog

Click HERE to visit her Website